The Duel

This precisely is one of those moments where u have to fight, fight for your convictions, convictions which not only drive your thoughts and actions but also make you who you are and the next moment you realize you are not the one person you used to be. That one person is now overshadowed by this new personality which now dominates your being, be it your actions, your thoughts or your very basic instincts like talking and walking. that constant irritation of being pulled down by someone who/which is not even real. That small blotch of irritation grows to stain your personality completely and you end up doing things that you would rather condemn. But one fine day when you realize that you have let yourself governed enough and you try to break free, the DUEL begins.

your conscience fights for freedom. you are pretty sure that you can do it but you are not sure how. The duel consumes you and starts sucking you from the inside which in turns makes you wearier and confused. At times you just want to let go and accept it calling it ill fate but your conscience does not allow that. you feel helpless and miserable. the persistent nagging in your mind drives you aloof of your surroundings and away from your goals. Now comes the hardest part - you start loosing. loss becomes a part of your life and now is the time that you tell yourself that this is the way your life was meant to be and you make your peace with the fact that what you did not get was never meant to be yours. you live your life and die a total failure but having fought that battle with your other self pays you off. you gather experience and you leave behind those experiences as a binding remark of how you lost that DUEL and that anything otherwise was impossible.

people who find the above story appealing and amiable, i'd like to say that your life cant be more perfect and i wish you all luck !!

for the people who condemn this and are ready to keep battling till they win or die,

i am just another soldier !

HOPE is one thing which drives one's thoughts and compels one to perform things which one thought to be out of his physical or mental competitiveness. Reminiscence of moments which occur when you least expect them to be, fascinate you with just the slightest hint of their being with you. We meet people, we make friends, we set our idols, we despise, we hate, we socialize, we love and yet amongst all these people who are testimony to all the above mentioned dynamic human traits, there lies a "me". a 'me' who is trying to see where, exactly and precisely where, does he fit in this big picture of "we". Expectations he has, which he knows are result of continuous underscore of his abilities by people around him. Responsibility he bears of everything he holds dear. Answerable he is to people who lay their expectations on him. Tries to find joy wherever he sees opportunity. And is reminded everyday by parents, teachers, bosses, supervisors, superiors, colleagues, partners, friends, siblings that there are more DIMENSIONS to life than he currently discerns. More can be achieved and done with more effort and dedication and that 'impossible' is a word which has no practical significance.

I am what my convictions make me, but who moulds my convictions? every bit of effort pays off, yet some remain unsatisfied. The things which went awry or were misjudged, create fear of failure but yet again endeavors which were success stories generate HOPE.

the above written piece of English language may appeal to some but to some this may be just 'ineffective', 'worthless', or a naive attempt to philosophical thinking, but these are just thoughts of a humble writer who is here to speak his mind and share experiences and who anticipates to be loved dearly and to be criticized harshly on this virtual dais.