your conscience fights for freedom. you are pretty sure that you can do it but you are not sure how. The duel consumes you and starts sucking you from the inside which in turns makes you wearier and confused. At times you just want to let go and accept it calling it ill fate but your conscience does not allow that. you feel helpless and miserable. the persistent nagging in your mind drives you aloof of your surroundings and away from your goals. Now comes the hardest part - you start loosing. loss becomes a part of your life and now is the time that you tell yourself that this is the way your life was meant to be and you make your peace with the fact that what you did not get was never meant to be yours. you live your life and die a total failure but having fought that battle with your other self pays you off. you gather experience and you leave behind those experiences as a binding remark of how you lost that DUEL and that anything otherwise was impossible.
people who find the above story appealing and amiable, i'd like to say that your life cant be more perfect and i wish you all luck !!
for the people who condemn this and are ready to keep battling till they win or die,
i am just another soldier !